It’s nice to feel like you have a handle on things. Being in control of your life is generally preferred over constantly flying by the seat of your pants. But are you actually too controlling? Do you have a hard time enjoying each day because you’re too busy planning it? Do your friends and family feel like they can’t just enjoy spending time with you? Acting like a control freak can put a strain on your relationships with others, but you may not realize that it’s happening. Here are some signs that you have controlling habits or behavior.
You Don’t Handle Uncertainty Well
Nobody knows what tomorrow brings. It is normal to feel a certain amount of anxiety about the unknown. What may not be normal is your response to this feeling. Do you feel a need to plan every moment to ensure you know the outcome of any situation? Is it to the point where you won’t try new things? Maybe you’ve turned down job offers in the past because you weren’t sure of how your life would change. Maybe you would never dream of switching up your routine at the gym. How many opportunities and experiences have you walked away from because you simply didn’t know what was waiting on the other side?
There is nothing wrong with having preferences. That is, unless your preferences must always supercede anyone else’s around you. Do you have to decide what restaurant you go to for every date? Can your friends plan a party without you trying to dictate how certain things (menu, seating, activities) are done? It does not matter if you feel that what you are doing is the best thing for everyone involved. You will not have many friends if everything is your way or the highway.
You Talk Over People
Do you like to give advice? Do you feel like you always know what’s best? Can your friends get a word in edgewise? You may not realize it, but interrupting others while they speak can be a sign of controlling behavior. Especially if it’s always to tell them what you think they should be doing instead. Your sage wisdom is not always welcome. Sometimes friends just want a listening ear. Try to limit sharing your advice to only when it is asked for.
Everybody is entitled to their opinion. You are even welcome to share your point of view with others when you deem it appropriate to do so. But you must understand that your opinion will not always change someone else’s opinion or actions. For example, you may have a friend who loves the color purple, but you think it does not look good on her. You can voice your thoughts, but do not be surprised if she continues to wear her favorite color frequently. Just because you don’t find it flattering does not mean she agrees with you. If this and similar situations bother you, you need to consider that you may be a control freak.
You Want People All to Yourself
Can your friend have other friends? What about your romantic partner? Your closest cousin? Do you dislike it when any of your loved ones tells you a story about time they spent with someone else? Jealousy can be an expression of controlling behavior as well. It often stems from insecurity and a fear that if your friend finds other friends, they won’t keep you around anymore. Do not assume that the people in your life are trying to replace you when they make and enjoy connections with others. It is selfish to expect people to only associate with you where there are 6 billion people on the planet. If you do find yourself feeling this way about your loved ones, step back and take a moment to reflect on why you feel that way.
If you are having a hard time evaluating your own behavior with an impartial view, consult a psychic. They can objectively look at your situation and tell you where you should focus your energy to curb this behavior. Your relationships will be better for it.