Do You Really Want Your Cheating Ex Back?
Does he really love her? Is she more attractive and clever than me? Why does she make him happy and I don’t? Is there a little guilt in him for cheating on me? Many women who have been cheated ask these questions. Having an unfaithful partner affects tremendously our feelings and is demoralizing. It creates destruction on our self-esteem.
Stop Blaming Yourselves!
Women tend to blame themselves for being cheated on. What did they do (or not do) that caused their significant other to stray? And they want me to help them win their significant other back. They want to prove that they are the better choice and that the mistress will not be successful in taking their man away. But ladies let me ask you this: What are you actually winning? More heartache? More insecurities? More feelings of unworthiness? More tears? More untrustworthiness?
Believe in two things:
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.
You must deal with reality in a logical way.
Determine What You Really Want
It’s time to let go of that cheater and focus on finding a new and better relationship! Grab a pen and piece of paper and write down exactly what you want in a soulmate. Your list may look something like this:
I want someone who is trustworthy.
I want someone who is loyal and faithful.
I want someone who is connected and attentive.
I want someone who makes me an important part of their life.
Love yourself enough to take the time to do this. Read your list aloud and think about the person who has cheated on you. You’ll find they are no match for your soulmate. So when you cry over a cheater, remember that you are not crying over the cheater; you are crying over what they did not give you, which is what you really want (according to your list). Your soulmate is not the person who cheated on you. They cannot and will not fulfill your desires.
Be honest. There was a part of you that knew your cheating partner could not live up to your expectations. The one you really want can’t come to you if your cheating partner is still in the picture, so stop crying over them. They’re just taking up space in your life. Don’t give more time and attention to someone who isn’t worthy of you.
Weeping and Rejoicing
If you’ve been cheated on and you call me, know that I will grieve with you. But I will also rejoice for you because I know that you will learn and heal from this experience. I know that you will choose better next time. I know that the universe is trying to send you what you really want, now that you understand what you really want in a significant other. Take the love and attention you poured into that cheating partner and pour it into yourself instead. Then watch what the universe brings you because you did that!
Oh, please! ‘Focus on finding a new and better relationship’? It’s not that simple. The emotional scars left by a cheating partner don’t just vanish because you made a wish list of qualities you want in a new partner.
Yawn, another feel-good piece telling people to pour love into themselves. Nice sentiment, but reality often doesn’t cooperate with such idealistic views. Sometimes, heartbreak just leaves you with, well, heartbreak.
So, let me get this straight: the universe is a matchmaker now? That’s rich! I’m waiting for Cupid to drop someone on my doorstep then. Meanwhile, I’ll keep crying over spilled milk and broken promises.
The suggestion to list characteristics desired in a soulmate is a practical step towards healing. It fosters clarity and a future-oriented mindset, which are crucial in overcoming the trauma of infidelity.
This article is a beacon of wisdom. Redirecting love and attention towards oneself after such a betrayal is not only empowering but also essential for personal growth. The advice to articulate one’s desires in a partner is profoundly insightful.