Leaving an Insecure Relationship

Are you in a healthy relationship but you feel insecure? Sometimes insecurity can be inside of you or sometimes your insecurity is part of your relationship. There are many things that can cause you to feel insecure in your relationship such as feelings of being neglected or fear of being abandoned.

Are You Insecure?

There are things that might show that you are insecure in your relationship, and this can be very unhealthy for you such as:

• • Having a partner that is emotionally distant.
  • Lacking trust.
  • Not believing what your partner tells you.
  • Your partner doesn’t want to spend as much time with you as before.
  • They are often mad at you.
  • They are jealous or controlling.
  • You need your partner to reassure you often.
  • You seem to fight more than ever before.
  • You don’t trust yourself.
  • You have low self-esteem.
  • You feel alone or isolated.

Being in a relationship that is insecure doesn’t mean that you’re in a bad relationship. Some people feel insecure in themselves, and it can impact the way that the relationship goes. It is important that you understand what is going on in your relationship so that you can figure out why you are feeling insecure.

What Causes a Relationship to Be Insecure?

Feeling insecure in your relationship can happen for many reasons such as:

• Childhood Problems

You might have had a lot of problems growing up and you developed a secure attachment because your needs weren’t being met. This can cause problems in your adult relationships.

• Relationship Past

The past relationships that you have had might have all ended badly. You may have had bad breakups that left you feeling heartbroken or hurt and now you feel insecure.

• Lack of Self-Esteem

You may have a problem with who you are, and you don’t have any self-esteem.

• Fearful of Aloneness

You worry that your partner might leave you and that you will end up being alone.

• Bad Relationships

Bad or toxic relationship can leave you insecure even if you have a good partner because you expect them to treat you the same.

Getting Past Relationship Insecurities

If you are dealing with relationship insecurities, there are things that you can do such as:

• Talk About It

Have open communication with your partner and talk about what you’re feeling. Be honest with your partner because they might not even know you feel that way.

• Talk to a Professional

You can always talk to a professional such as a therapist or a counselor if you have these insecurities. Getting help from the outside can give you a different perspective.

• Don’t Allow Your Thoughts to Rule You

Challenge your negative thoughts and find out why you are having thinking that is so irrational. Ask yourself if you are really believing what you are thinking or if you just have negative thoughts.

• Give Yourself Self-Care

Make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and that you aren’t always focusing on your partner or the relationship.

• Focus on Positivity

Focus on positive things and make sure that you are seeing the good in your relationship. Think about why you decided to date them in the first place and what made you fall in love with them.

Dealing with Relationship Insecurity

There is no wrong or right way for everyone to fix their insecurity. You have to find out which is best for you.

If you and your partner are willing to work on things, here are some ways to get started on your road to a healthy relationship.

• Have Boundaries

Set boundaries for you and your partner regarding the time you spend together, communication and physical touching.

• Have Alone Time

Take time alone and make sure that you give your partner space sometimes. This can make you feel more secure when you’re together.

• Find Out What Sets You Off

Look at the things that trigger you and identify them.

• Talk About What Scares You

If you are feeling scared or upset about something, talk to your partner so that they can understand and support you.

• Let Your Feelings Out

Don’t hide your feelings or try to ignore them. Learn to express yourself and be honest with your feelings.

• Communicate

Communicate what you want and what you need and talk about the relationship so you can feel closer to your partner.

• Stay Positive

Set your mind to be more positive. Even when things go wrong, embrace your partner and your relationship, and stay positive.

Leaving Your Partner

Feeling insecure in your relationship might mean that you need to leave your relationship and find someone else. Here are some signs that it might be time to move on without them:

• • They put you down.
  • They talk negatively about you to others.
  • They make you feel that you aren’t worth it.
  • They don’t value you.
  • They don’t want to work on the relationship.
  • They don’t value you your time or your space.
  • They are emotionally abusing you.
  • They make you feel like you can’t be yourself.

If you have these things happening in your relationship, then your insecurity is there for a reason. It might be time for you to move on and find a partner that is going to listen to your needs and to make you feel secure.

Having a partner that is making you feel insecure because of their actions needs to take a step back and decide if they want to be with you or if they want to lose you. If they aren’t willing to work on things, then it might be time to let them go.

Navigating through your insecurities can be hard but you can get the help that you need. Talk to a counselor or a therapist if you feel that you can’t handle this on your own.